Why did you become a teacher?

In 1985, because I was invited, and I was so happy I was invited that I said yes. I was finishing my Bachelor's at Texas State and got a letter inviting me to apply for the Master's program. It offered me a job as a Teaching Assistant (all the work but none of the perks of a professor). And while I didn't much care for another degree, I did love learning and didn't have anything else lined up. So I took the job and found that after the initial terror of standing in front of college freshmen, teaching was fun. But it was the invitation, not the activity, that moved me. 

As a La Leche League Leader, because I truly believed in the message. And to counter a leader who denied assistance to those who wouldn't or couldn't quit work and embrace breastfeeding poverty. My writing career grew out of LLL, as I sought to spread the message that had transformed my life to those whose children no longer breastfed. And that was a good time. 

I went to Texas Lutheran University in 2001 because, again, I was invited – the sheer joy of being recognized was enough. But the base pay, which translated to $1.33 per hour, wasn't. 

And, sad to confess, I entered the public school system in order to keep my daughter out of the local high school. That’s not a good reason. 

At first, I got a lot of pleasure out of the challenge. Then I got sick. I kept teaching when I was sick so my daughter would not war with her father, who preferred another district. I kept teaching when I was so very, very ill. When I almost died from complications of chemotherapy. I almost went to work on the day I almost died. 

Why am I teaching now? Money. But money has never been such a great motivator for me. Fear of what will happen if I quit. And because I've been offered another promotion, which translates into more work for the same pay. But it’s the invitation. The recognition. And the fear. 

Deep down inside, I don’t enjoy my work anymore. It’s more fun mentoring the young teachers than teaching students. Damn. I’m doing this for all the wrong reasons. Carol always says that the heart cannot hold fear and love simultaneously. I cannot teach from both places.