Paradox

When I started teaching, I quit writing. Previously, I'd done an opinion column for a nationally distributed newspaper, and I truly enjoyed it. But I'm a crappy business woman; it hurt to send an invoice. I guess I still had that higher-academic reluctance to profit; maybe I just never cared that much for money. And when I broke down and got a real job, I quickly discovered that opinions are bad things in public schools. After all, an administrator might disagree. A parent might complain. God forbid. 

For 11 years, I've stifled my voice in order to keep my job. But now I'm (1) eligible for a small pension and (2) too burnt out to keep going. This blog, I hope, will do the trick. Because for some obscure reason that remains a mystery to me, I want to keep teaching. 

It was my daughter's suggestion -- such an odd thought, to put myself out there again, to see if anyone else feels as I do, if anyone would care enough to share their stories. In it's first incarnation, this was called Seriously Pissed Off Teacher, and I posted a seriously pissed off letter I'd written that basically said that Mom-From-Hell and/or her lovely daughter had fabricated an accusation out of the tiniest smidgeon of inoffensive truth. (I sent the letter, too.) I then dug deep and found myself somewhat annoyed that the not-supposed-to-be-painful intradermal flu shot (1) hurt worse than the old kind and (2) left me with a huge, inflamed, painful, itchy lump which persists five days after the fact. 

And then I ran out of angry.

So I changed the name and deleted the previous posts. And as I work through Parker Palmer's The Courage to Teach, I hope you will join me. But just to be totally honest: I'm writing under a pseudonym. Only under a pseudonym do I dare write honesty. 

After all, I teach in the public school system. 

Go figure.